IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM

I can honestly say that in all of the years that Millie and I have been close friends that I have never seen her in such a state of mind.

She waltzed back to the bar and nestled herself onto the lap of Hans.

'Vodka shot please', she purred as Hans grinned back at her ... I could see that he was more than happy to have Millie, previously so quiet and demure, now all vampish and full on sitting on his lap.

'Vodka shots all round!' The waiter nodded his approval and disappeared returning with shot glasses in ice and a frozen bottle of Belvedere.

'Let's have a party!' I cried and lined the glasses up before pouring the clear, ice cold liquid into each one.

'Your in a rock band', I said to Z, 'I hear rock bands like to party too.'

He smiled back at me before squeezing my butt. His hands were strong and firm, I liked it.

'Oh we know how to party .... ' he replied and with that he lifted the Belvedere to his lips and chucked the last quarter of it down his throat in one.

'Well that means we are in for a good night then' I leant forward and we kissed, vodka running down our chins as we came together.

THE MOVIE MAN

We made our way into the Ladies, Millie thrusting me another of Marcus' modelling photos as we went in.

'He's just sooo yummy, sooo gorgeous, sooo great in bed.'

I smiled ... Millie was such a sweetie, it was great to see her so happy. it has to be said that her love life to date hasn't exactly been smooth.

There was the man at work .... lying, cheating pig who stole her ideas and got promoted.

There was the guy at the bowling alley ... possessive and drunk ... not a good combination.

There was the guy next door .... did whatever Mummy wanted him to.

There was the guy at the nightclub ... wanted Millie to try it out with his girlfriend first.

There was the army guy ... he really wanted to get it on with another army guy.

Now, if this was my history then so be it ... I don't really care ... i like to be in the driving seat and have been since Emmanuel died. Not quite a Samantha out of SATC but i like to play the game my way!

I popped into the cubicle as Millie dialled Marcus on her mobile.

I could hear her voice, quiet at first and then shouting.

'Who is she ... your wife!!! ... you bastard!'

I heard the phone smash against the wall and Millie burst into tears ...oh no ... should I add to the list:-

There was the movie man ... already married!

VOD VUD U LIKE ... VODKA?

Mills and I made our way to the Belvedere House ... an exclusive bar and eaterie where you could enjoy your vodka whilst being massaged by an attractive, muscular young dude!

'The drinks are on me!' I announced on reaching the bar ... the room was half full of a mix of people. Young and professional, older and loaded ... the atmosphere was a little staid and I felt in the need to liven it up.

'You're that Amanda Gonzalez aren't you?' A smartly dressed but already well-oiled young money type slurred as he approached.

'Sure am' I replied as I knocked back my first shot ... 'who wants to know?'

'Bit of a gold digging slapper I'd heard', he continued ... 'oh, go and get lost' Millie's voice was raised as she came and stood between the two of us.

'Don't worry Mills, I can deal with this one'.

I went to him and put my hands onto his crotch ... I could feel him starting to stiffen.

'I may be a gold digger and a slapper', I started to unzip him .... 'but what are you exactly?'

I freed him from his pants ... a startled but complacent look ran over his face.

I poured a shot of vodka over his member ... he was moaning slightly as I did so.

'Now Paula ... over to you!'

When we had arrived at the club we'd seen my old secretary Paula, she was in her mid-forties, plump, plain and a complete nympho. I knew that I'd managed to get city boy so excited that there was no turning back for him now.

Paula was on her knees faster than a rat up a drainpipe and as she slurped and gobbled away I pulled his pants right down ... on cue his friends appeared their mobile phones in hand, clicking away, photographing every lick, suck and dribble.

I threw back my head and laughed out loud ... this one was going to have a lot to explain away in the morning ... that was for sure!

BELVEDERE OR SMIRNOFF?

Champagne, wine, gin ... vodka?

I was in the mood to get as drunk as a Lord! But what was to be our tipple of choice?

Millie and I had already enjoyed a bottle of champagne - should we carry on with the golden bubbly liquid or set our taste buds to enjoy something else.

'mmm', replied Millie, 'how about Vodka? Now we have all the Poles and Russians in London maybe we should try that out for a change!

Now when it comes to vodka there is only two options; Belvedere or Smirnoff. I know that it's de rigeur to drink Grey Goose in the fancy bars around town, but, to me that's as sacrilege drinking Irish cider ... I mean why drink Irish cider when everyone knows that the best is English!

The same goes for Vodka ... French? Forget it! The French somehow managed to ensure that no one apart from themselves can use the term Champagne for fizzy wine ... and I have to agree with that. When the Eastern Europeans tried to do the same for Vodka ... something they had invented ... they were denied the chance. So please ... stay clear of French vodka ... they can't have it everyway can they.

'Vodka it is then!' I replied.

Millie and I linked arms ... there was only one place to go ... the Belverdere House!