THE OSCARS

Spent most of the afternoon arranging our impromptu Oscars party for tonight.

I decided to hire out Vena ma Boca in Soho for our Oscars themed shindig. Millie and I had already put our connections to good use and we had managed to make the smart Tapas Bar look like red carpet and gold statue heaven!

The theme being 'the red carpet' I wanted everyone to arrive as glammed up as they possibly could and once the organisation was over it was a case of shooting back to my apartment for a quick rest before getting ready.

With the guest due at nine I arrived a few minutes beforehand to make sure that everything was OK - it was! It was fabulous!

What a night we had -

Angela Alette arrived without her new husband with her usual posse of gorgeous guys in tow. She, as always, looked fabulous - rather nipped and tucked up close - but it was an Oscar party aka the Night of the Thousand Knives, so she did fit right in! Angela is an Oscar winner of course for her song from Maison de Quatre Amours from the Sixties but she preferred to stay in London tonight.

Ben Truman - looked good enough to eat, and do plenty of other things to too - what can I say! He always looks hot as hell and he was on great form spending most of the night flirting with anyone who came his way and downing vodka gimlets like there was no tomorrow.

Millie arrived with Marcus - I was surprised that he was here being Oscar night and all but it appears that he had to foresake his invite to the Vanity Fair Oscar party in order to complete negotiations on his new project.

Cass arrived with the band Sins of Angels - a wild bunch if ever I saw one - right up my street. Cass was on fab form too and was doing all she could to encourage the boys to behave like real badass rock stars!

Helen arrived with her P.A. Chantelle. Chantelle is a great girl a complete live wire. Chantelle also gets to screw every fella that Helen passes on - a great perk of the job!

Tomas arrived with his new beau, Paul (very tasty I've got to say) and the pink crowd. They were all giddy with excitement over the nominations for the two great dames - Helen and Judi - and dame in waiting Kate!

Nico also arrived looking like a Greek version of James Bond, replendent in black tie - liking this guy more with every passing day! Watch out girl - don't want to fall too hard here!

We certainly had a wild evening and as the vodka and champagne flowed things certainly did get right out of hand.

I seem to recall judging a 'gold globes' competition of our own - also being rather bemused that there was still quite a large number of real boobs out there still!

That was followed by the boys doing a special Oscars show in response - I gotta say I was most impressed by the guy Hans from Sins of Angels - HUGE!!!! Millie tells me he is a former porno star and even has an extra large dildo named after him - if Nico wasn't here .....

The best result of all - Dame Helen winning the Oscar - congratulations - what a talent and what a beautiful woman - wonder if I could do a Gap and sign her up as a new face of Amanda, Oh! underwear ....?

Gotta go ... Nico is waiting and I really want to find out just how much a Grecian Urns!